Name(s): Hunter x Hunter: Phantom Rouge / Gekijouban Hunter x Hunter: Hiiro no Genei / HxH Movie / 劇場版 HUNTER×HUNTER 緋色の幻影（ファントム・ルージュ）
Format: Movie
Studio(s): Madhouse

Say it with me, folks: non-canon shonen movies are never good. Except for a few Dragon Ball Z movies. Weird world we live in, but maybe not if you consider Dragon Ball Z‘s simplicity makes it easier for them to not waste our time and narrow in on what we came to see. This movie is at least 20 minutes too long. I was nothing short of amazed that at the 35-minute mark (out of 96) literally nothing of consequence had happened besides Kurapika‘s eyes getting stolen (the first thing that sets the plot in motion) and meeting Retz.

So much time wasted on getting from point A to point B as long as possible, and with only bland action scenes and redundant basic character development from the series to fill the gap. Gon and Kilua are mostly fighting against soulless puppets based on major characters from the show, but they’re weak and copies, so there’s no satisfaction in these confrontations on any level. You otherwise go through the same old shit: Kilua’s worried about his past life as an assassin, Gon wants to help his friends, Kurapika wants revenge on the Phantom Troupe. Nothing new and nothing done in an interesting way.

HxH: Phantom Rouge had promise because it was allegedly based on a scrapped story idea by Togashi, but I’d like to assume they stopped taking inspiration from him pretty fast. The main reason is that the main villain, a former member of the Phantom Troupe, is not only a dull psychopath with no real motive or intrigue but is also stupidly overpowered compared to anyone in the series with no justification as to why he’s basically a god. He can create copies of anyone for no explained sacrifice that possess the memories of the original person, have to obey his orders, and are able to use all their powers.

As if this free ability to make anyone in the world his clone slave isn’t enough, he can also absorb them and use all of their abilities at once. It’s so utterly absurd, and in a world where the writers weren’t idiots this character would be completely unstoppable. Fortunately, that same contrivance ends up saving the day. And no one cares.

What else is there to say? The music’s the same as the series and the animation quality’s not even a touch better. My only solace is knowing that another one of these shallow movies made only to siphon dollars from fans didn’t get a penny from me. Unless time is money. In which case they should consider themselves rich.